GRITS

Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. Recognize the judge?

Before Fran and I came South, anything and everything I knew about grits I learned from the movie, My Cousin Vinny. In the movie, two New York college students driving through Alabama are arrested and charged with murder. To defend them, they enlist the aid of their cousin Vinny, a shiny-suited,  pointy-shoed hustler of a New York lawyer in an Alabama courtroom before an Alabama judge and jury. The boys' fate hinges upon the eye witness testimony of a good ole boy who swears that, while making his morning grits, he saw the boys' car leaving the scene of the crime. The truth of his testimony will rest on the fact of which kind of grits he was making. Were they the new-fangled quick-cooking instant grits? Or was he busy stirring the old-fashioned traditional grits?  SPOILER ALERT: The answer will be at the end of this post.

Fran and I don't dine out very often. I love to cook and I'm told I am pretty good at it. And usually there is some aspect of the dining out experience that I find disappointing. The exception to the usual is when our son, Eli, is with us. And that experience, and it is alway an experience, we can afford only about once a year. I really only enjoy eating out when the food requires special equipment, hard-to-get ingredients and wisdom and experience beyond my ken. I like to think I know my limits.

On our way South we stopped in Davidson, NC to see our old neighbors, Alan and JoAnn Young. They were both raised in the South.  They  urged us to  try boiled peanuts, Low Country barbecue and shrimp and grits. Now, here were three foods that definitely met my "Let someone else cook it first" criteria. So when our daughter, Milli, flew from London to Boston to Charleston to spend a week with us, we ate at least one meal out five of the seven days. And on four of those occasions I had ---shrimp and grits.

At Eli's Table on Meeting Street, the shrimp and grits was served with tasso gravy.

No Relation:)

Shrimp & Grits from Eli's just as it looked before I dove in

My next S&G experience was at The Glass Onion, a soul food restaurant in a strip shopping center out on the Savannah Highway with black and white tile floors, kraft paper for table cloths and a very talented chef.  His rendition of shrimp and grits changes almost daily, as does his menu.  I had tasso gravy and andouille sausage.

Good food. Not too fancy.

Our most elegant dining experience was at the Restaurant at Middleton Place plantation. The setting is beautiful. And, unlike the  schlock restaurants at most tourist attractions, this restaurant for many years was home to Edna Lewis, doyenne of  traditional Southern Cooking.  On this occasion, the S&G was served with Tasso gravy over Anson Mills Grits.

Dining Room at Middleton Place

Finally, on a Sunday afternoon we went to Pearlz on Magnolia Road just off the Savannah Highway. This very noisy bar/restaurant specializes in oysters. A shucker is always busy behind the bar. The shrimp and grits is always on the menu but the preparation varies daily.  Once again it was tasso gravy and sausage.

Well, how was it you may well ask? I suppose its possible to screw up shrimp and grits. Don't cook the grits long enough so they are still gritty. Don't add enough liquid. Don't stir almost constantly so the grits scorch or burn. Skimp on the artery clogging cream, butter and cheese. Overcook the shrimp. Don't cook the roux until it is deep, deep brown. I suppose it's possible. But you would have to work real hard, or not at all, to do it.

The grits in each of the four dishes I tried were smooth, creamy, rich and flavorful in and of themselves. What's not to like: cream, stock, butter, cheese. Grits are one of those "vehicle" foods like a lettuce and tomato on white bread is a vehicle for mayo. I would have enjoyed them without any gravy or sausage as a side dish for any number of proteins. But the tasso gravy was deep,  spicy, flavorful and balanced. The shrimp was properly cooked. All four dishes were very satisfying; which told me all I needed to know: I can make this dish.

First I needed a recipe. Easily done. Magnolia's Spicy Shrimp, Sausage and Tasso Over Creamy Grits  looked the trick. Then I needed grits. The grits belt runs from Virginia clear through Texas. I was looking for Anson Mills grits. Thank heaven I didn't find them. I took the linen bag of grits available in Charleston's new and very mediocre Whole Foods. Had I found Anson Mills I would have been way to intimidated to try the dish.  The company bio of the "visionary" Glenn Roberts and his "epiphanies" make Alice Waters of Chez Panisse and locavore fame look like a slacker who slinks off to McDonalds  after her restaurant closes. And if you can get past the bio there is this wonderful disclaimer:

We’re fussy. We wouldn’t be doing this if we weren’t. Our products are fussy, too. They may look like their grocery store counterparts, but they don’t cook like them! We’ve spent hundreds of hours developing the recipes we offer on this website. These recipes follow the stream of authentic foodways and work beautifully with our products.

So if you purchase our oats or grits, wheat flour or rice, be sure to use the recipes and techniques we provide—at least until you have a good, working feel for the product.

The bottom line is this: our products can’t be relied on to work with standard recipes, and standard recipes can’t be relied on to work with our products.

Ok, so you take that with a couple of grains of sel de mer.  Just show me the grits.

GRITS AND HOMINY CORN

Antebellum Coarse White Grits *

Antebellum Coarse Yellow Grits *

Antebellum Medium White Quick Grits *

Antebellum Medium Yellow Quick Grits *

Colonial Coarse Pencil Cob Grits *

Native Coarse Blue Corn Grits *

Henry Moore Yellow Hominy Corn *

Do I want my grits pre or post the "Recent Unpleasantness"? Give me a break and don't get me started!

So I had my Whole Foods, run of the mill (literally) grits. Now I needed a substitute for Tasso. Tasso is pork shoulder, Cajun spiced and smoked for a short period of time. You sauté the Tasso to render the spicy juices and fat into the pan before adding the chicken stock and roux. A Google Search suggested Chorizo as a substitute. My local Publix had both the chorizo and andouille sausages.

I started with the grits: 1cup heavy cream, 3 cups low sodium chicken stock, salt into a 2 quart sauce pan. Bring to a boil. Add grits stirring all the while. Turn down to simmer. Stirring all the while. Set iPhone timer for 30 minutes. Stirring all the while. Stand over pot for 30 minutes. Stirring all the while. (As a rank beginner I dared not leave the grits for a moment, not one.) After 30 minutes check for creaminess. Stirring all the while. If done add butter and cheddar. Stirring.....When done, keep grits warm over a bain marie, oops, simmering pan of water.

Next came the roux. Butter melted until it stopped foaming and an equal volume of flour stirred in, Stir constantly until the roux is a rich, deep, nut brown. The longer it cooks, the better, so long as it doesn't burn.

Next, the gravy base. Onions and chorizo sautéed until the onions have caramelized and the sausage has given up all its goodness. Add the stock. Bring to boil. Add the roux. Stir until thickened.

Slice and saute the andouille. Assemble the dish. A mess of grits, ladle of gravy and 1/2 dozen sausage medallions. Voila.

My Shrimp and Grits with chorizo gravy and andouille sausage

I will leave it to my editor and food taster and tester to render her own opinion of my version here.  Fran: It was delish.  But I think it would be worth it to get some Tasso online.

BTW, store any leftover grits in the fridge.  To reheat, microwave for a minute or so. Then add a little of any of the liquids in the grits and stir to loosen them up and make them  creamy once again. Grits, thy middle name is stir.

Shrimp and Grits: Endless variations.

SPOILER: The witness was, of course, cooking traditional grits in the kitchen at the back of his house. He could not have seen the car out of his front window unless he left the grits to scorch and burn, which, of course he would not admit to.

We ain't worried about no voting rights law. We got this fella Gerry Manders

Last Friday, after we got our Florida residency, driver's licenses, vehicle registrations and voter registration, we came home and looked up Marco Rubio, one of our Senators and Rick Scott, our Governor. (Fran: Dear God, what have we done?)  In all the excitement we completely forgot our Congressional representative. No problem, right?

Well, actually it wasn't so simple. In fact, it has taken us 4 days to figure it out. If you look at the map of congressional districts above, the light blue one is Florida's new 3rd and the long, skinny purple one is Florida's new 5th. Now, where the purple one gets real skinny, way up north --so skinny if you drank a 40 ouncer you could piss from the 3rd, over the 5th into Florida's 7th, the green one, well, that's Green Cove Springs.   St. Brendan's Isle, our mail forwarding service and the basis for our Florida residency, is located in Green Cove Springs.  In short, their address is our address.

Florida's new 5th district as of 2012

Green Cove Springs is right under the FL-5. See what I mean? Some of the Florida 5th's constituents have fins.

Now it didn't used to be this way. From 1993 to 2012 the map looked like this:

Florida's 3rd from 1993-2012

After the 2010 census, the Florida legislature had to reconfigure (gerrymander) its congressional districts. The black population of Florida is often spread out. It used to be you could gerrymander districts to dilute and neutralize the votes of those whom you would just disenfranchise altogether if you had your druthers and the Federal Guvment would butt out.  Now, you gerrymander to create a district insuring one, presumably Democrat, black representative and guaranteeing several safe-for-the-indefinite-future certain Republican white representatives.

Now I'm sure you'll will be shocked to learn that Florida's 5th, which runs some 150 miles from north of Jacksonville to south of Orlando is represented by one Corinne Brown, a woman of the African American persuasion.

And Florida's 3rd, which is overwhelming white, is represented by one Ted Yoho.

Fran: Dear God, not him, please!

I had heard of Yoho when I was up North. He was the guy leading the effort to impeach Eric Holder. Then I began to look at his positions and I started to get really excited. Here was an anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, pro-gun Conservative Republican who generally held the positions represented by the chart below:

 Spending and Taxes

Spending
Indicate what federal spending levels (#1-6) you support for the following general categories. Select one number per category; you can use a number more than once.
Slightly Decrease	a) Agriculture
Greatly Decrease	b) Arts
Maintain Status	c) Defense
Greatly Decrease	d) Education
Greatly Decrease	e) Environment
Slightly Decrease	f) Homeland Security
Eliminate	g) International aid
Slightly Decrease	h) Medical Research
Maintain Status	i) Scientific Research
Slightly Increase	j) Space exploration
Eliminate	k) United Nations
Greatly Decrease	l) Welfare
	m) Other or expanded categories
Taxes
Indicate what federal tax levels (#1-6) you support for the following general categories. Select one number per category; you can use a number more than once.
Eliminate	a) Capital gains taxes
Eliminate	b) Corporate taxes
Eliminate	c) Excise taxes (alcohol)
Eliminate	d) Excise taxes (cigarettes)
Eliminate	e) Excise taxes (transportation fuel)
Eliminate	f) Income taxes (low-income families)
Eliminate	g) Income taxes (middle-income families)
Eliminate	h) Income taxes (high-income families)
Eliminate	i) Inheritance taxes
Eliminate	j) Payroll taxes
	k) Other or expanded categories
I support the Fair Tax which would eliminate all of the above. The Fair Tax is based on consumption and everyone pays in based on what and how much they consume, hence it being fair.

Could I possibly have hit the rectal/cranial inversion trifecta? My Governor, one of my Senators and my Congressional Representative all have their heads up their ass.

It all came down to the zip code of St. Brendan's Isle Mail Forwarding Service. I went right to the horse's mouth, Find Your Representative.gov and I put in my zip code.  And I got this:

I was getting close.  Fran was plotzing.  Then it asked me to put in my street address.  I got this:

Bummer. (Not to Fran!)  No trifecta after all.  How could this have happened?  FindYourRepresentative.gov had anticipated my question. They provided this large scale map of Green Cove Springs.

See that area that kinda looks like a gun shooting into Florida's 3rd? Well, apparently 411 Walnut Street is in there. Fran and I have moved into a predominantly black neighborhood.  But we got a great deal on a mailbox.  FRAN: AND TED YOHO, A YOHO IF EVER THERE WAS ONE, IS NOT OUR CONGRESSMAN!!!

Savannah Stories

What is it?

Here are three hints attributed to this object in folklore:

     Saved by the bell

     Dead ringer

     Grave yard shift.

Note the bell to left of the monument in Bonaventure Cemetery

Give up? It is a grave bell. A string was tied to the supposedly deceased's finger down in the grave. If he/she was not really dead they could ring the bell and be saved by the bell. But, of course, someone had to be there to hear the bell. Hence, the graveyard shift. Then, if the recently deceased, but now resurrected, person was recognized walking down the street, well, what we have is a dead ringer. Great story even if it probably isn't true.

Up until the late Nineteenth Century it wasn't easy to know when a person was dead. They held a mirror under the nose to look for tell-tale vapors. Not the best indicator.  There were numerous documented cases of premature burial in the 18th and 19th Centuries.   And Edgar Allen Poe certainly didn't help things with his story, "The Cask of Amontillado." The fear of being buried alive was very real. Safety coffins were designed, patented and they sold. Back in "the day," lead piping, lead water cisterns, pewter cups and dishes with high lead contents were very common. The first "artificial sweetener" was lead powder mixed with vinegar and poured into sour wine. One of the symptoms of severe lead poisoning is deep coma not always ending in death.

One reason that wakes lasted three, four and even five days was to be as certain as possible that the dead person was, in fact, dead.  George Washington insisted that his servants observe him for two days before burying him to be sure he was dead.  And someone had to sit with the deceased in the parlor to observe if there was even a twitch -- and to keep the flies away.  In the 18th and 19th Century, houses of the affluent had two parlors and a removable door in between. When someone died he was layed out on the door in one of the parlors while the mourners gathered for the wake in the other. Embalming in America became prevalent during and after the Civil War and arsenic was the favored medium. Formaldehyde was first used in Germany in 1867.  The term "living room" was not coined until the late 19th early 20th century.  Make of that what you will.

Isn't it amazing what you can learn on a Cemetery Tour? Much more to come.

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A more or less typical Parkers

Parker's is a chain of gas stations/convenience stores in South Carolina and Georgia. They promise you "a premium shopping experience in a safe, friendly atmosphere." I suppose you could say they are like 7/11 with better lighting and a lower instance of armed robberies.  There is a Parker's on Drayton Street right in the middle of the Historic District of Savannah. Architecturally it has a little more character than your usual convenience store. And people still pull up to get gas. But once you open the door.......

The Drayton Street Parker's in Savannah

you are in one of, if not the best, gourmet markets in Savannah. Fresh, hot Southern food, salads, cheeses from everywhere. A person could easily live out of Parker's.  Our experience of the only Whole Foods in Savannah was most disappointing. Parker's puts them to shame.

Fran and I bought lunch: fried chicken, chicken tenders, fried okra, mac and cheese, seasoned greens and, of course, a Dr. Pepper. Then we walked over to Chippewa Square and had lunch under the Live Oaks. Save that if could have been hotter, it was pretty good and great value.

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Little Gracie Watson in Bonaventure Cemetery (note golf ball)

This is little Gracie Watson as depicted by John Walz, sculptor. She is wearing her new Easter dress and her new Easter boots. She died two days before Easter in 1889 at the age of six. You can read the memorial below. The Pulaski Hotel on Johnson Square across from City Hall and but a block away from the Cotton Exchange was both luxurious and very busy with business travelers.

She was a favorite of all Savannah. Her wake lasted five days and some 40,000 people attended her funeral. After her burial, her parents returned to New England leaving Gracie all alone in Bonaventure Cemetery. But not for long.

Note the teddy bear and the gray mound are the ashes of a family pet

Soon after Gracie's burial, people started leaving toys and trinkets at her grave. To this very day, 125 years later, entire Savannah families drive out to Bonaventure Cemetery, the kids get out of the car and place their toys through the fence of Gracie's grave. (There wasn't a fence until vandals....)

This is not litter. 

Gracie is reportedly one of the most seen ghosts in Savannah.

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You probably have used them. I know I have. They are cheap borders for flower beds, around trees, along walks.

Clay edgers from Home Depot

Edger with the Nine Square Mark

Look familiar?

These edgers go back to the Ante-Bellum South where they were manufactured by slaves on the plantations during slack time. The slaves dug the clay, stomped it into molds, imprinted an identifying mark and then fired the edgers. The plantation owners sold the edgers as grave borders to the multitude who could not afford granite or marble.

The nine square pattern on these edgers is particularly interesting as the nine square was the sign of a safe house for run-away slaves. Before the Civil War, quilters would make quilts with the nine square pattern and hang them on the clothes line.

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Hundreds of millions of people know this place

How about now?

Sorry, there never was a bench there. Hollywood brought one, a fiberglass one at that, and when the movie wrapped, they took it back to Holllywood. That really pissed the Savannahians off. The Mayor made Hollywood give it back. And now it is in the Savannah History Museum.

Forrest Gump's Bench

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As we so often say: "You can't make this s**t up!"