Well, actually it wasn't so simple. In fact, it has taken us 4 days to figure it out. If you look at the map of congressional districts above, the light blue one is Florida's new 3rd and the long, skinny purple one is Florida's new 5th. Now, where the purple one gets real skinny, way up north --so skinny if you drank a 40 ouncer you could piss from the 3rd, over the 5th into Florida's 7th, the green one, well, that's Green Cove Springs. St. Brendan's Isle, our mail forwarding service and the basis for our Florida residency, is located in Green Cove Springs. In short, their address is our address.
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| Florida's new 5th district as of 2012 |
Green Cove Springs is right under the FL-5. See what I mean? Some of the Florida 5th's constituents have fins.
Now it didn't used to be this way. From 1993 to 2012 the map looked like this:
After the 2010 census, the Florida legislature had to reconfigure (gerrymander) its congressional districts. The black population of Florida is often spread out. It used to be you could gerrymander districts to dilute and neutralize the votes of those whom you would just disenfranchise altogether if you had your druthers and the Federal Guvment would butt out. Now, you gerrymander to create a district insuring one, presumably Democrat, black representative and guaranteeing several safe-for-the-indefinite-future certain Republican white representatives.
Now I'm sure you'll will be shocked to learn that Florida's 5th, which runs some 150 miles from north of Jacksonville to south of Orlando is represented by one Corinne Brown, a woman of the African American persuasion.
And Florida's 3rd, which is overwhelming white, is represented by one Ted Yoho.
I had heard of Yoho when I was up North. He was the guy leading the effort to impeach Eric Holder. Then I began to look at his positions and I started to get really excited. Here was an anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, pro-gun Conservative Republican who generally held the positions represented by the chart below:
Could I possibly have hit the rectal/cranial inversion trifecta? My Governor, one of my Senators and my Congressional Representative all have their heads up their ass.
It all came down to the zip code of St. Brendan's Isle Mail Forwarding Service. I went right to the horse's mouth, Find Your Representative.gov and I put in my zip code. And I got this:
I was getting close. Fran was plotzing. Then it asked me to put in my street address. I got this:
Bummer. (Not to Fran!) No trifecta after all. How could this have happened? FindYourRepresentative.gov had anticipated my question. They provided this large scale map of Green Cove Springs.
See that area that kinda looks like a gun shooting into Florida's 3rd? Well, apparently 411 Walnut Street is in there. Fran and I have moved into a predominantly black neighborhood. But we got a great deal on a mailbox. FRAN: AND TED YOHO, A YOHO IF EVER THERE WAS ONE, IS NOT OUR CONGRESSMAN!!!
Now it didn't used to be this way. From 1993 to 2012 the map looked like this:
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| Florida's 3rd from 1993-2012 |
Now I'm sure you'll will be shocked to learn that Florida's 5th, which runs some 150 miles from north of Jacksonville to south of Orlando is represented by one Corinne Brown, a woman of the African American persuasion.
And Florida's 3rd, which is overwhelming white, is represented by one Ted Yoho.
Fran: Dear God, not him, please!
Spending | |
Indicate what federal spending levels (#1-6) you support for the following general categories. Select one number per category; you can use a number more than once. | |
Slightly Decrease | a) Agriculture |
| Greatly Decrease | b) Arts |
| Maintain Status | c) Defense |
| Greatly Decrease | d) Education |
| Greatly Decrease | e) Environment |
| Slightly Decrease | f) Homeland Security |
| Eliminate | g) International aid |
| Slightly Decrease | h) Medical Research |
| Maintain Status | i) Scientific Research |
| Slightly Increase | j) Space exploration |
| Eliminate | k) United Nations |
| Greatly Decrease | l) Welfare |
 | m) Other or expanded categories |
Taxes | |
Indicate what federal tax levels (#1-6) you support for the following general categories. Select one number per category; you can use a number more than once. | |
| Eliminate | a) Capital gains taxes |
| Eliminate | b) Corporate taxes |
| Eliminate | c) Excise taxes (alcohol) |
| Eliminate | d) Excise taxes (cigarettes) |
| Eliminate | e) Excise taxes (transportation fuel) |
| Eliminate | f) Income taxes (low-income families) |
| Eliminate | g) Income taxes (middle-income families) |
| Eliminate | h) Income taxes (high-income families) |
| Eliminate | i) Inheritance taxes |
| Eliminate | j) Payroll taxes |
| k) Other or expanded categories | |
I support the Fair Tax which would eliminate all of the above. The Fair Tax is based on consumption and everyone pays in based on what and how much they consume, hence it being fair.
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It all came down to the zip code of St. Brendan's Isle Mail Forwarding Service. I went right to the horse's mouth, Find Your Representative.gov and I put in my zip code. And I got this:
Bummer. (Not to Fran!) No trifecta after all. How could this have happened? FindYourRepresentative.gov had anticipated my question. They provided this large scale map of Green Cove Springs.
See that area that kinda looks like a gun shooting into Florida's 3rd? Well, apparently 411 Walnut Street is in there. Fran and I have moved into a predominantly black neighborhood. But we got a great deal on a mailbox. FRAN: AND TED YOHO, A YOHO IF EVER THERE WAS ONE, IS NOT OUR CONGRESSMAN!!!
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